Tired Post

Ya know when you are up REALLY late for absolutley NO reason other than to stay up?

yup, thats me at the mo. imagine this whole post spoken in your heads with a monotonous, slow bored voice. except not bored, just sounding bored because its tired. thats me

so yeah. robbies procrastinating from slumbation now too.

ya know whats mysteriously cool? that glimpse of perfection that you get, that smell that passes by that reminds you of some incredibly distant memory, possibly before your life, and that moment is perfect? a glimpse of eternity so close that you can grip it, but it is blown away in the invisable winds of perpetuality. is perpetuality a good word to use here? i wanted to say something about carrying on, but making it more fancy. time for a new paragraph?

Yes. So its like you get such infinite joy in that split second you experience this perfect waking dream, but the moment you feel it you lose it, and you are infinitley unsatisfied with anything else but that source of the joy. Maybe this is what Heaven will be like, except with infinite satisfaction? why am I still awake?

Overseas in 4 weeks to this day. Its too late to back out now, otherwise im paying a huge amount of mula for nothing. I spent the most amount of money ive ever spent in my life this week - $3200ish. On my air ticket. And i keep questioning myself:

Why am I going?

And to tell you the truth, i dont truely know. if i didnt tell you this in all honesty, i would be lying.
So, reasons?

Escapism? Realisation of true selfism? Deeper understanding of Godism? Procrastination from the 'REAL WORLD' ism?

The only real reason I keep coming back to is that I know God wants me to go, so Im pretty much just doing it for Him.

Something else to wrap this rambling up?

Man Im tired. Ummm, flip i dunno. ha flip. It looks so lame written down.

Friends are awesome. I wouldnt mind a best friend though, ya know?